Creating Community

Dear CRCers,

I'm a sophomore, and I'm desperately in need to find a sense of community.  I have a bunch of acquaintances but I can't say that I have made any close friends yet.  I have enjoyed my classes but haven't gotten to know any professors. I spent the weekend feeling pretty miserable and to top things off, I'm feeling very stressed about planning for my future.  

Signed, 

Super Slumping Sophomore

LA Johnson | npr.org

It sounds like you need to find some short-term and long-term strategies for combating your feelings of isolation.  Unlike some colleges, where everyone goes to dinner at the same time or goes to a football game on the weekend, Brown's social scene is much like navigating the Open Curriculum:  Everyone forges their own schedule and no two look alike. This culture can actually feel quite lonely, as you are unlikely to just run into someone you enjoyed meeting during a pre-orientation program or to see a professor from your favorite class last semester.  You didn't mention if you have a roommate this year, but assuming that you do as most sophomores have one, even roommates can become strangers to one another without making intentional plans.

The keyword here is intentional:  While it may feel like an extra step, making the time in your weekly plans for fun or downtime is not only healthy but critical for starting to feel like you feel you belong.  In the short-term, try to make it a goal to share a meal with a friendly someone at least every two or three days a week. Make time weekly to go to at least one on-campus social event or lecture, if only to explore the many different communities on campus.  Email a favorite professor from last year and ask if you can go to their office hours to learn more about the other classes they teach, and/or about their research area.

If you're finding your feeling sad most days of the week, make it a priority to find a "professional" someone to share your feelings with:  An RPL counselor in your dorm, a clinician at CAPS, or one of the deans.

As for some longer-term goals:  Ask yourself not so much what you think you should be doing to prepare for your future, but what you're interested in right here and now.  What are your current academic interests? What do you like to do, or what *did* you like to do, for fun, or to destress? Perhaps there is a center on campus looking for volunteers (if all the paid positions are filled), or maybe there is a weekly gym class or low-stress creative group you could join on campus or in the PVD community.  As for the local community off the Hill, every weekend there are fun happenings around Providence and RI.  

Finally, especially if you tend to be an introvert and take your friendships seriously, try not to freak out, as finding community takes time.  Watch for the MAPS event about finding community, coming later this semester and facilitated by the MAPS junior and senior mentors.